Jokes

Lawyer : I Have Some Good news and some Bad news
Client    : well give me the bad news
Lawyer : The bad news is that the DNA tests showed that it was your blood they found at the
                 crime Scene
client     : oh I'm ruined what is the good news?
Lawyer   : The good news is that your cholesterol is down to 130

          JOKE-2

Doctor   : I Have Some Good news and I have some Bad news
Patient   : Whats the good news?
Doctor   : The good news is that the tests you took Showed that you have 24 hours to live
Patient :   That's the good news whats the bad news?
Doctor   : The bad news is that I forgot to tell you yesterday.

           JOKE-3

There was a boy who wanted a bicycle. he prayed to god to give him a bicycle. After a time he realized
God does not work that way so he stole a bike and begged for forgiveness.

JOKE-4

Why didn't the mouse cross the road?

It's cord wasn't long enough!

JOKE-5

Three women are about to be executed. One''s a brunette, one''s a redhead, and one''s a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim!"

Suddenly the brunette yells, "EARTHQUAKE!!!"

Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes.

The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim!"

Suddenly the redhead yells, "TORNADO!!!"

Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes.

By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim!"

And the blonde yells, "FIRE!!

JOKE-6

Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the little girl was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Nancy?"

"My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."

The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"

Nancy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied, "That's because he's inside your stupid cat."